I doubt that I’ve ever climbed so consistently poorly. Despite choosing to climb only easy problems, everything felt challenging, and nothing came easily. I failed to do boulder problems that I could have done in the past, and only managed to complete one problem. It should have been a frustrating trip to Brimham Rocks, and yet I had a good time.
My experiences of climbing in the last few years explain why I had such a difficult time that day, and why I could easily have been frustrated by what happened. My bouldering was at its best in the year or so before the pandemic. My climbing strength and skills then slipped away during a long break from climbing necessitated by the pandemic. Aside from a couple of trips to climb on the concrete boulders at Fairlop Waters Boulder Park, it was my move to Yorkshire and the easing of the pandemic that really gave me the chance to climb again.
This return to climbing was not the first time I’d come back after a forced absence. Surgeries on both my knees had given me an idea of what I might expect, and how to go about rebuilding my climbing. However, this return after the pandemic felt like it was from a lower starting point. I had the experience and knowledge to know what to do, but I struggled to execute the moves, and lacked the endurance to climb for a long time. I slowly got stronger and my climbing gradually improved. However, any unavoidable, short break from climbing (for example, because I had a cold) and I felt myself sliding backwards with far more speed than I had been progressing. It sometimes seemed like I was fighting to stand still. At times, it has been frustrating and disheartening. Perhaps the most disheartening aspect came with accepting that a lot of what I was experiencing could be explained by getting older, and that’s a factor that wouldn’t change.
The winter that has just passed was a particularly difficult period for trying to rebuild my climbing skills and regain fitness. My opportunities to climb were curtailed by frequent rain as well as recurring colds and a bout of flu. As a result, my only outdoor bouldering had been a trip to Brimham in November and to Almscliff in December. Now it’s spring and I’m hoping there will be more chances to get out. The first such chance presented itself the Sunday before last, and I used this to head back to Brimham Rocks.
I was keen to return to the Pinky area of Brimham, where there is a gorgeous, rippled wall of rock with views over the moor and Nidderdale. There is an easier problem that goes up the centre of this wall called Raspberry Ripple (graded 4) that I wanted to try. I was confident I could get up it as I had climbed the same sort of rock waves on two other problems on this face. However, after several attempts to climb Raspberry Ripple, I had only managed to get a couple of moves off the ground. I kept retreating to my mat to see if I could work out what I was doing wrong. In the end, I resorted to the lazy option of relying on my height and stretched for a hold on the top of the wall. This didn’t work the first time, but I persevered, and, with the higher hold giving me the confidence to work my feet up the wall, managed to top out. That inelegant effort enabled me to complete the only problem I finished that day.
Although I was a bit surprised that I’d found Raspberry Ripple so difficult, I had enjoyed being on rock again, puzzling-out how to do the climbing, and the sunny weather. I therefore decided to try another problem on this wall.
This was Ripple Traverse (graded 5), which, as its name suggests, is a traverse from the left to the right of the rippled wall. It looked fun to work your way across the boulder by the peaks and troughs of its waves. Ripple Traverse was fun for the four or so moves that I was able to do before falling off. I found my inability to get past the same point amusing, and I accepted that this was going to be a problem I came back to try again.
The nearest, easier problem that I had not done before was Piglet Wall (graded 4) at the other end of the Pinky area. The photo of Piglet Wall on the 27Crags app that I was using didn’t really convey how awful the landing below this problem was. A large, roughly triangular rock sat immediately below the problem as if it had been placed there with the explicit intent of twisting ankles, snapping bones, and fracturing heads. Piglet Wall itself involved pockets that I thought would provide good footholds, but no obvious handholds below the top rim. I reasoned that I could cautiously do the climb once I was standing in the pockets as, from there, I’d be able to grab the top of the boulder. I could then top out using a mix of pulling with my arms and smearing with my feet.
For a problem with a big block at the bottom to stand on, I found it very hard to begin Piglet Wall. I only managed to make it by pushing against the neighbouring wall, and it’s likely that wall is out of bounds for this problem. I then stood in two pockets and inspected the top of the boulder. The lack of positive handholds, and the potentially serious consequences of an uncontrolled fall without a legion of spotters, persuaded me to carefully climb back down.
It’s probably at this point that I would have started to feel frustrated. I had failed to climb two problems, and climbed another one poorly. Yet, I accepted what had happened and felt content.
The next problem I tried was Atlantis Flakes (graded 4) on the Atlantis boulder near to the centre of Brimham Rocks. This is a magnificent problem involving two curved flakes, facing in opposite directions above an undercut, and made of sublimely rough gritstone. I knew as soon as I left the ground, that I really wanted to climb this problem. I didn’t. Although I could see what to do, my arms simply didn’t have the strength in them, and I reluctantly climbed back down before the final moves. I admired the problem with a smile on my face and determined to try it again in future.
I decided that I had just enough energy for one more climb, but only if that climb were on a slab. I therefore headed to a large, sloping boulder in the woods near Acme Wall to try a problem called Luey (graded 4). After repeatedly sliding down this slab because I couldn’t get my feet to hold, I concluded that it was time to stop for the day.
All of this should have left me feeling frustrated. I had repeatedly climbed poorly and this could be seen as underlining how far my climbing abilities had fallen. I think that there are a few reasons why this didn’t frustrate me. The most important reason is that I remembered to just enjoy the experience of climbing. I also think I allowed my enjoyment of the experience to be worth more to me than the sense of achievement that comes from completing a climb and doing that well. Another reason is that I think I might have been able to balance an acceptance of what I can realistically do now with optimism that practice will enable me to improve my climbing performance in time. In retrospect, I also think I need to keep in mind that climbing grades can be a neutral measure of my abilities. I can use grades to inform my climbing aspirations, without using them in making value judgments about the level at which I climb and about myself.
This is the mindset I want to bring to my climbing, because it’ll allow me to avoid constant frustration and to continue to enjoy climbing. I think that’s essential, as I have a long way to go to approach the level at which I used to climb. If I do start to get frustrated, then I need to remember this trip to Brimham Rocks and the enjoyment I can get from climbing whether or not I actually get to the top.